Getting In The Spirit

Our Tragic History with Pies

Thanksgiving conjures up memories of holidays past and our tragic history with pies. My family has had our moments with holiday pies, I'll share the two most memorable here.

For years, when we lived in the Tampa Bay area, mom and I would share Thanksgiving with my best friend, Randy, and his family. One year, I, who had never made a pie before, took on the challenge of making the pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dinner. No pressure. It all seemed simple enough and the pie looked perfect when it came out of the oven. I was pleased, thought I had done well, at least until dinner. The pie was horrible, it had enough cloves to choke a Clydesdale from Busch Gardens. What had I done wrong? It seems I had made only one mistake, but it was a biggy. I had confused my tibbles and my tisps, tablespoons and teaspoons. The recipe, as I recall, called for 1 or 2 teaspoons (tsp) of cloves, I apparently put in tablespoons (tbls). It was an annual holiday reminder for years to come, about the time I mixed up the tibbles and tisps.

The flaming Thanksgiving was my Grandfather's doing, thank god, at least I can't be harassed for it. My mother had left the holiday pies on top of the stove in aluminum tins. Grandpa went to boil water for his morning prunes, at least I think that was what it was for, and lit the wrong burner. He walked away to do something. Several minutes later the smoke detector went off. We rushed to the kitchen to find a flaming pumpkin pie and a room filled with smoke. My quick thinking, actually the only one of us thinking, sister grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the pie out. Everything turned out well and we all, except Grandpa, laughed about it for years after. However, we never mentioned it to Grandpa's face though.

So, this is why, along with the fact that he is better at baking, I let Richard make all our pies.

 

Called to Have an Impact – Fostering Rainbows

As I stumble into the 2014 holiday season and year-end review process season, I am feeling the least fulfilled I have in a long time. The phrase, “is this all there is?” comes to mind.  

 

I’ve learned a great deal in the last few years.  The big lesson for 2014 appears to be I am called to have an impact.  I have a good job with a good company that pays reasonably well and provides fabulous health coverage, but I struggle.  I struggle with feeling inadequate, with feeling I am letting people down, with the desire to be happy and leave my mark.  Is it that I turned 54 and the end of tunnel is closer than the beginning, is it childhood trauma coming back to haunt me or is it something else?  Whatever it is, it is time to move past it.

How to move past it?  Therapy? I have done that, it is past focused, historical and those lessons have been learned.  At least I think they have. Library therapy, aka another self-help book, been there done that too.  Let’s be real, I know what I need to do.  I need to stop hiding, being afraid of failure, being afraid of success and just do it.  I need to get back to doing those things I can to have an impact and help make the world a better place.  I’ve done it before.  Time to stop letting one failure and other people’s opinions paralyze me from being my best self.

I had an idea a year ago that I haven’t really pursued, Fostering Rainbows, coaching LGBT parents and foster parents, creating trainings for foster care agencies on LGBT issues and kids and expanding the LGBT movement beyond marriage equality to other issues like foster care, food insecurity and us aging queens.  Today, for reasons unknown to me now, this became a much bigger priority, driver in my life.

One thing that gives me joy is PFLAG Thief River Falls.  It is the one thing I’ve done this year that feels impactful.  I created something from nothing and now a small group of fabulously talented and committed people are changing things. This will be my inspiration as I use my year-end process to let go of 2014 and create a spectacular 2015.

No more drama driven life.